Notice anything strange about the cover from this week’s Us Weekly? And not just the fact that Suri Cruise, the mutated offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes is on the cover? Well, try looking in the upper left-hand corner. It appears that Us Weekly has now vowed not to report on any more Paris Hilton stories in their printed issues ever again. In this case, of course, “ever again” means “unless sales figures start to drop,” in which case Us will likely feature a two-page spread of Paris’s vag.
Granted, Us’s website will still update with regular Paris Hilton news, but as the site states, “While we’re happy to provide you with work-avoiding Paris Hilton stories all day long here at Usmagazine.com, we realize that Paris, like paperwork, is not something you want to take home with you.”
This is absolutely true, but I also don’t like paperwork when I’m not at home. Why the hell not just get rid of Paris altogether? It’s one thing for small celeb gossip sites like us to report on Paris stupidity, but it’s another for an established celeb gossip rag to give any attention to the lazy-eyed wonder.
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